Day 66: Internal vs External

Believing God

Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen Ephesians 3:20-21

Everything is possible for him who believes. Mark 9:23

You may recall that when I began this spiritual journey I mentioned two fleeces I was laying before the Lord in regards to the calling on our lives after Lonnie's retirement. Today as I was watching the teaching segment of Believing God a question crept in that made me squirm. The question was this....

"Are my requests before God ego driven?"

As the session went on and Beth taught about the old covenant and how God provided the external needs of his people but under the new covenant of Jesus ~ God's prioritizes the internal work he is doing in us. He is in us now! His Holy Spirit dwells in us. He is most concerned about my inner spirit and strength than about the outward. As I am contemplating this I am before my Lord saying:

Lord! Forgive me! When I think about the fleeces there is a chance that they were ego driven. I must declare before you Father that I had not processed the miracles you are doing within me as strongly and that they would be your priority. I first saw where you weren't outwardly answering our cries and requests and perhaps appeased myself to say...but God has done this in our lives regarding our communication, dependence on him, etc. But God the first is the miracle! It is a miracle that you would even consider Lonnie and I for service to you with the least of these. That you would find us worthy to go there in your most Holy name. Lord, I've known that as I look back over the past five years, and the journey of financial trials, emotional ups and downs, that you had us on you were absolutely preparing us to be missionaries. I know now that when I prayed "Lord, get us ready to be your missionaries" that your priority would be the preparation deep within our spirits. I'm seeing it Father. Thank you for the miraculous work you are doing here in me! Amen

Am I crazy? Am I justifying what God is doing? I don't think so...because

God is who He says He is
God can do what he says he can do
I am who God says I am
I can do all things through Christ
God's word is active in me

I Believe God!