Day 146: Confirmed- We are crazy!

Reading "One in a Million" and more thoughts:

• God strategically placed the Israelites in a desperate place...blocked in with backs to the Red Sea so that He could perform a miracle and demonstrate his power.  Perhaps, He has strategically placed us in this position for the same reason!
• God purposefully took the people to a time when they had no food or fresh water...God provided a miracle to give them fresh water...God provided a daily miracle to give them manna and quail...Daily what they needed.

Priscilla  Shirer writes:

Oh yes, that wilderness.  He knew your supply would run dry.  So not every feeling of emptiness is the result of your doing something wrong.  Not every growl in your spiritual stomach comes from being faithless or from doing things in the wrong order.  Sometimes it's just a test to see what (to see Who) you're really counting on to keep you satisfied, an opportunity for Him to show you His supernatural, miraculous power in your emptiness. ....His reason for showering them in manna from heaven was so they would "know that I am the LORD your God"  (p. 92)

After sharing with Lonnie the above nuggets he sent me the following email:

Today I was reading in 2 Cor 5: 13-15  where Paul says “Hey, if we look crazy, it’s just because we’re serving God against all human understanding.”  

The commentator goes on to say that ‘if you’re serving God and someone says you’re crazy, then you are in good company, because they said the same thing about Jesus.’ In Mark 3:21 they said, “He has lost his senses” and in John 10:20 “He has a demon and is insane”. Yes, it is crazy to go up to someone who hates you and tell them about the Love Jesus has for them. Yes, it’s crazy to quit your job and move somewhere you’ve never been to be a missionary. Yes, it’s crazy to abandon all worldly security to follow Jesus. Yes, it is practically psychotic to walk all over the place to tell people about the gospel when they are going to rob you, beat you, stone, you and try to kill you. But Paul says, “the love of Christ controls us. Since He died for me, I can certainly die for him.” 

So, not only do we have our toes in the water with our backs up against the wall, we are also crazy. 

 Love you

So, today I'm agreeing we are crazy and  in between  the army and the water...our toes are in the water and we need a miracle....maybe we already have it? Steady contract work from Liberty ...regular income to take care of our financial obligations here in the states.   Because we have obligations here that will require Lonnie's retirement and my Liberty income we will absolutely depend on the Lord to provide our daily manna and quail in South Africa.  It will 100% be us living on what he will provide for us.  The faith journey will be his financial provision and not ours.  It will be by his might and not ours.  As he provides we will know His desire for us to be there.

We will, we must depend on him as our Jehovah Jireh! By His power and might alone will we go!

We are "crazy" in love with our Lord.

Day 145: Wilderness

I'm enjoying "One in a Million" so much!  This morning the chapter was "Why Me?"  That's been a question on my mind and off my lips over the past 6 years. We we obedient, the best we knew to be. We are being obedient going to Africa...and yet the looming home situations cause me to think..."why us?"

A quick couple of quotes and thoughts from the book:

• He put you through hard times, He made you go hungry.  Then he fed you with manna, something neither you nor your parents knew anything about, so you would learn that men and women don't live by bread only; we live by every word that comes from God's mouth.   Deuteronomy 8:3 (MSG)
• "Figuring out the wilderness is not our job.  If we'll just yield to God's purposes for us in the wilderness, He will protect us from ourselves and prepare us for our destiny."  pg 75
• God's not cruel and often the wilderness is better then the easy path. Maybe not physically, but spiritually God teaches us about himself, hones our spiritual selves...in the wilderness.
• Moses to the people at the end of the wilderness journal. "Remember that the LORD your God led you on the entire journey these 40 years in the wilderness, so that He might humble you and test you to know what was in your heart, whether or not you would keep His commands." (Deut. 8:2 HCSB)

We are struggling to clearly know God's will for our financial situation as we move forward. We know that on the other side of what feels like a wilderness journey we will be stronger and know God's provision with greater depth...know his voice.  

Lord,

We are waiting to know what it is that you want us to do.  We will fight and struggle to figures that out. We can see how you would be glorified and we would be stretched and blessed in both of our options. We just need to know your will...have your peace we are making the right decisions.

Speak to us and thank you for the journey....really, God...we praise you for this season.

Amen

Day 144: Experience Him

Who is Jobette? Me (smiling). The life of Job has intrigued me for the past 6 years as we've struggled through our life challenges. My nickname to myself as challenges come up, is Jobette. A simple reminder that God allows trials and hurts into our lives.

Buy why? While reading PricillaShirer's One in a Million this morning something she wrote beamed out like a light in the pitch darkness. Shirer writes of Job:

     "Why would God lead a person like this to the wilderness?  Maybe the answer we're seeking comes at the end of Job's ordeal.  After a long, torturous run through some of the driest, dustiest conditions ever known to man, Job was able to articulate something he could never have put into these kinds of words before.  He said to the Lord, 'I have heard of You by the hearing of the ear'--back when I was safe and secure in my happy, unhurried world--'but now my eye sees You' (42:5). Now I know You by experience."

She goes on to speak of God's reasoning for leading the people in the least direct path to Canaan. Even though there was nearer route why would God take them the long way? (This is before their refusal to go into Canaan)  "The People might change their minds" (Exod. 13:17).   Change their minds means they might have regrets or a change of heart.  

Have we gone through all we did to experience first hand God's provision? We didn't loose everything! He has provided the necessities for us...and a few bonuses. We have more than heard of God's provision.

We know Him by experience.

Perhaps, OK, not perhaps...my home has been an idol in my life. I realized it when I was preaching my last series and defined an  idol as something we trust, have faith in, more then God. 

This is what I sensed God clarifying for me:  I'm not sure I trust God that I'll be able to have a nice home when I get back from Africa...what will the interest rates be? Cost of living? Where will we have to be? Where will we work to even qualify for a home? Will a short sale ruin our credit?  So I'm trusting that if I keep this home my future will be taken care ... I'm placing trust and faith  in a physical structure more so then in God.

Ahh ha! God had us fight to keep above water so we would "Know Him by experience"

It is by experience that we will continue to know him...our minds to have no regrets as we place our feet on South African soil. How freeing would that be...not to worry about mortgages here...tremendous!

Father,
You know me so well. I am a hands on learner.  Thank for your revelations and insight this morning. Continue to lead us in your path...the direction you would have us to go. To relinquish what you would have us relinquish. Or even to fight for what you would have us fight for. 
Amen

Day 143: Anxious thoughts

"Search me, O God, and know my heart; try me and know my anxious thoughts;and see if there be any hurtful way in me, and lead me in the everlasting way"  Psalm 139:23-24

"... You anoint my head with oil"  Psalm 23:5

Recent life lessons are focusing on my mind and outlook.  It is so difficult to stay focused and a conscious effort to look for my God in the middle of hurt and disappointment.

What are the chances? We were told within the same week that both of our mothers have breast cancer. In fact, they were both having a biopsy the same day in different locations. My mom's was discovered early and the outlook is promising. I have a peace about that. Nanny Sue's is much more advances - it had moved also to her lungs and colon. She has begun oral chemo therapy. This is a harder one to have a peace about.

The dilemma of our home situation looms heavy. The decisions hard. Short sale because both homes are upside down. How embarrassing is that to say? Horrible. To have lived in one home for 20 years...make a conscious effort not to incur needless debt...waiting for God's house for us to retire in. When we sensed God's nudging we made the move. Then the world stepped in.  Did we wrongly hear God? I don't believe we did. When I think of all the faith building we experienced and opportunities to see his provision I see his plan, his love, his provision.  Did God make a mistake? He doesn't make mistakes. My challenge...God, what do we do now? We need wisdom cloaked in faith and trust in you our Soverign God.

Africa. Two sick mommas. Two homes upside down.

Make sense?  No

What to do? Don't know

Spiritual battle. Trust God as much for the years beginning  6 years into our future after we return as much as we are trusting him now and for the 5 years on the field.

Walk away? Do we short sale and stick the mortgage company...if they will even accept a short sale.

Is this scriptural? Honorable? Are we depriving God from demonstrating himself  as Jehovah Jireh once again?

Lord,
Lead me in the everlasting way. Like the shepherd placed oil in the sheep's nostrils to prevent parasites from entering and causing the sheep's head to hurt and be distracted. Place the oil on my head so that I'm not distracted by the world...I want what you want...to know your will.  Please bring answers and remove my anxious thoughts. I don't want to take them with me to South Africa.

Your confused servant