Day 94: Jobett

I am reading Job in one of the devotions I do. It is no surprise that God allows this book of the Bible into my life just when my life is so in need of perspective. Again it is happening.

I feel guilty and ashamed when I question my life and when I fuss about it. I feel ungrateful and just ungodly. You see I tell myself if I were more Godly I wouldn't ever have these thoughts and spiritual battles.

The past couple of days I've noticed that Job complained. Even today, beginning with Job 10:1

"I hate my life. I will be free in my complaining. I will show how bitter I am in my soul when I speak. I will say to God, "Do not say that I am guilty and punish me. Let me know why You work against me. Do You think it is right for You to make it hard for me, to turn away from the work of Your hands and favor the plans of the sinful? ..."

How comforting to see in scripture exactly what I have and am feeling!

Then in Psalm 128:1 - Happy are all who honor the Lord with fear, and who walk in His ways.

We all want to be happy in a happy and giving me what I want world. But the world is cruel and "unfair" at times. I know I've written about that word...UNFAIR. But what was really unfair was the blameless Christ dying for me in such a cruel way.

Happiness is in honoring God. The bottom, spiritual happiness is going to bed, or coming before the Lord, and knowing that your heart is honoring him. I may not agree...even like the circumstances. I am in pain...hurting...emotionally, spiritually, physically. I don't know why God allows hardship when we obey all he commands as best we can. I don't know why God doesn't just squash me like a fly when I whine at him...as if I have the right to whine.

I pray and ask...not because I am God and will get what I want....but because I trust God to be who He is and that is to do what is best for me as His child and give me the ability to walk through the yuck of this life. I trust that God is heart broken when I am heart broken.