Day 70: Deep Love-Deep Devastation

Believing God

Blessed is he, whosover shall not be offended in me. Matthew 11:6


Yesterday in general was a tough day. I was just grumpy and disillusioned. Several things were stewing in my brain. I was just mad and at points devastated. I couldn't understand...and honestly I still have a difficult time.

So I had to smile at myself and God's timing as I read today's Bible study ...Blessed are the Unoffended. My first reaction was...there's no blessing for me because I have been whiny and grumpy, offended by the Lord. I'll admit it...might as well because he knows anyway.

Beth Moore references the work of Gene Edwards' The Prisoner in the Third Cell. The book looks at John the Baptist. He never saw his 34th birthday. He died because of Jesus. He lived a scarce life as a Nazarite. When he was in jail and sent his disciple to ask Jesus if he was really the Son of God...Jesus didn't give him a straight up answer. What? All Jesus had to do say was, "Yes, John, I am." But, Jesus just says I heal people and do miracles. This leaves John to still have to discern on his own. So why would it be any different for me? It is not. God still doesn't give me up front answers.

Beth writes and also quotes Edwards to say:
"...surely no pain is like the searing of the heart when "your God has not lived up to your expectations.....all of us called to faith will have this knife-sharp experience in some form and at some point.....I'd go so far as to suggest that the deeper we have loved God, the deeper the potential for devastation when He doesn't intervene as we know He can....God is not shocked, Beloved. he reads our hearts. he knows our confusion., disappointment and devastation."

Edwards writes this which resonated with me. "More often than not, the scenario of such a challenge will be similar to John's. At times we'll be tempted to think, If Christ is who He says he is and can do what he says He can do, and I am His beloved, why isn't He coming through for me? Is it our insignificance? Is he too busy to notice? Or is the situation simply not critical to the overall plan? Are we or is our loved one simply dispensable? Blessed are we when we could be offended and choose with every shred of tattered faith not to be."


Father, I praise you because you know all my doubts and struggles right now...but you also know my heart believes in you, loves you, respects you, trusts you. Help me through this grim spiritual time of discouragement.

I pray that I will not be offended by you. I will not allow Satan to whisper lies into my spirit and my mind. I will be aware and focused on you. I will dwell on your goodness. You are a good and compassionate God. I love you.