Day 33: Anxious

Made it home after a trying 24 hours...only trying because I become anxious! I had no need to be anxious. Lord, you know me so well and now you are helping me to see my anxious thoughts and recognize the testing situations that bring them out. I like being in control of my world...knowing what is going to happen next, how, and why. But that's not life. Perhaps it comes from being the child of an alcoholic? That is why I love my heavenly Father so much. Abba, you will never let me down. You always will have my best interest in mind. There is no questioning of your character. You never change...loving, grace, consistent, mercy, all-knowing, all-powerful, all present.

Words can change a mood in a moment. Father, last night all was well and then bam, a conversation went south. It was not so much the words as the tone...on both of our sides. Help me to show grace in this situation. To honor my in-laws. To love as you love us despite our past behavior. It is difficult with a hurtful history. It is only in grace that forgiveness from me has been able to be extended. I am sad to say I don't have the unconditional grace that Lonnie does. There is no one that I know that has this measure of grace, except you my Lord. I ask Father for a heart that recognizes the anxious thoughts in me. I ask for patience during this season of caring for our parents. I ask for the ability to know when to speak and when to be silent.

Thank you for the Liberty courses I will teach. Yesterday more good news as I am being shifted to a course where I will probably have a section each term. Help me to serve you and your future ministers well in this calling.

Be with James as he leads his ministry, Michael as he battles for health, Becca today as she teaches and then has two big tests. Lonnie as he finalizes his paperwork for part-time work.

Back to the Bible

The prophets prophesy falsely, and the priests rule by their own power; and My people love to have it so. But what will you do in the end? Jeremiah 5:31

According to Kroll, "As you go through your day, evaluate what you do in light of the end you know is coming. When you stand before the Judgment Seat of Christ, will the things you've given your life to really matter? Commit yourself to do that which is of eternal value.
The end is coming...and then what will you do?"

Father, I desire for my life's work to glorify you. The book I am reading is such a testimony to your calling and work. The family left everything, lived in poverty, to serve the street children of Brazil. She understood her husbands calling and that she and their children would spend less time with him than the street children. What I admire most is that she hears your voice. Father, I want to hear your voice. You speak through people, your word, and your spirit within us. I pray that my spirit will be able to hear your voice so that I can move in the direction you would have me.

1 Timothy 2
Lord, I am to be Lonnie's helpmate. I again ask for the insight to know when to confront and when not to. May I honor him. May I see how you are working and be your servant to those that have brought hurt. May I be your hands and heart.

Amen