Day 6: Sacrifice--A frightening word

Yesterday I experienced that chest tightening, tummy woozy feeling. I experience this when the issue with the rental house comes up...when we talk about selling it. When I realize where we were and how hard it was five years ago. I play it over and over in my mind. I recall how hard it was to trust God and our ability to understand His voice and move. A season when nothing made since. A season when only the life of Job brought any understanding. And even then the understanding was frightening...sacrifice...loss...grief...spiritual attack...trust that we wouldn't loose everything but if we did we would still have our God...God would walk with us. They were tear filled days....days I had hoped would never return.

But here I am again. This is a fleece before the Lord as I don't see how we can move in his direction with this huge mountain in front of us. It seems overwhelming. We need to sell that home but absolutely have to invest financially in it a way we aren't able to do. I know in my head and my heart that all we have is the Lord's. It is his house to sell or keep. I guess I really don't trust our ability to be his caretaker. How do I overcome the emotional doubt! Lord, I don't see how it is all suppose to work. It seems impossible and a miracle opportunity. What are we to do? Sell the one we are living in...move into the rental to repair....sell it and then move to our next phase. I can trust you to provide a home for us where ever we are.

How do I know what God wants us to do? How do I balance trusting, hearing, responding, sacrificing? Discern his timing?

Revealed devotional title today is "The violence of sacrificial love"
A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.
John 13:34-35 (NIV)

Sacrifice is a frightening word. The author, Doug Turner, pg. 18, writes "Sacrifice always has some kind of association with death. Something must die for real sacrifice to happen--an act, an emotion, an attitude, a habit, even a life." Oh, that is so true. The sacrifice of life for our freedom. So what is my sacrifice for missions? Am I willing to emotionally sacrifice the distance from children? Even with Mike leaving this morning I cried and I'll see him in the next three weeks! The thought of selling this home and not having a home when we return from missions makes me nervous. It may not happen for two years but it makes me nervous already. The sacrifice of not knowing the future. Lord I am willing and I am trying...but I am not doing so well at this!

Job! Do you believe it...Job is the text for Back to the Bible devotion today.
Then Satan answered the Lord and said, “Does Job fear God for no reason? Job 1:9

The Lord has not placed an impermeable hedge of protection around us. The economy is horrible and homes are not selling. So why would be any different? The assurance for us, however, is that our God is there with us....

Deuteronomy 33:27 (ESV)
27 The eternal God is your dwelling place,
and underneath are the everlasting arms.
And he thrust out the enemy before you
and said, Destroy.

Psalm 139:5 (ESV)
5 You hem me in, behind and before,
and lay your hand upon me.

His love is all we have to rest in. His permissive will allows us to walk through this yuck...and his unconditional love is underneath us, beside us, and before us. His word assures of his compassion and love towards us. His sacrifice was his Son. There is no sacrifice that stands beyond that. Your word is true, Lord! You do care. You will bring comfort if I will just trust you and give it to you.

Father,
I honestly dread the emotional impact of this upcoming season in our lives. The change and the sacrifice will not be comfortable...nor enjoyable. But, Lord, knowing you are with us, knowing your word is true and never changing, knowing you care, knowing the sacrifice will bring joy on the other side, knowing all that and loving you beyond all the pain, this is obedience and a sacrifice I desire ~ no I don't desire to make ~ I am willing to make. Prepare our hearts, prepare our family, prepare our finances. Please don't allow finances to be the door closer. Help me to see the panic for what it is...a spiritual attack. Help me to rest in you in all things! Provide for us my Abba, Provider God, Protector God. I sense the urgency in our hearts to prepare. And Lord, please, this day give grace and protection to Michael as he travels to school.

Amen