Day 146: Confirmed- We are crazy!

Reading "One in a Million" and more thoughts:

• God strategically placed the Israelites in a desperate place...blocked in with backs to the Red Sea so that He could perform a miracle and demonstrate his power.  Perhaps, He has strategically placed us in this position for the same reason!
• God purposefully took the people to a time when they had no food or fresh water...God provided a miracle to give them fresh water...God provided a daily miracle to give them manna and quail...Daily what they needed.

Priscilla  Shirer writes:

Oh yes, that wilderness.  He knew your supply would run dry.  So not every feeling of emptiness is the result of your doing something wrong.  Not every growl in your spiritual stomach comes from being faithless or from doing things in the wrong order.  Sometimes it's just a test to see what (to see Who) you're really counting on to keep you satisfied, an opportunity for Him to show you His supernatural, miraculous power in your emptiness. ....His reason for showering them in manna from heaven was so they would "know that I am the LORD your God"  (p. 92)

After sharing with Lonnie the above nuggets he sent me the following email:

Today I was reading in 2 Cor 5: 13-15  where Paul says “Hey, if we look crazy, it’s just because we’re serving God against all human understanding.”  

The commentator goes on to say that ‘if you’re serving God and someone says you’re crazy, then you are in good company, because they said the same thing about Jesus.’ In Mark 3:21 they said, “He has lost his senses” and in John 10:20 “He has a demon and is insane”. Yes, it is crazy to go up to someone who hates you and tell them about the Love Jesus has for them. Yes, it’s crazy to quit your job and move somewhere you’ve never been to be a missionary. Yes, it’s crazy to abandon all worldly security to follow Jesus. Yes, it is practically psychotic to walk all over the place to tell people about the gospel when they are going to rob you, beat you, stone, you and try to kill you. But Paul says, “the love of Christ controls us. Since He died for me, I can certainly die for him.” 

So, not only do we have our toes in the water with our backs up against the wall, we are also crazy. 

 Love you

So, today I'm agreeing we are crazy and  in between  the army and the water...our toes are in the water and we need a miracle....maybe we already have it? Steady contract work from Liberty ...regular income to take care of our financial obligations here in the states.   Because we have obligations here that will require Lonnie's retirement and my Liberty income we will absolutely depend on the Lord to provide our daily manna and quail in South Africa.  It will 100% be us living on what he will provide for us.  The faith journey will be his financial provision and not ours.  It will be by his might and not ours.  As he provides we will know His desire for us to be there.

We will, we must depend on him as our Jehovah Jireh! By His power and might alone will we go!

We are "crazy" in love with our Lord.

Day 145: Wilderness

I'm enjoying "One in a Million" so much!  This morning the chapter was "Why Me?"  That's been a question on my mind and off my lips over the past 6 years. We we obedient, the best we knew to be. We are being obedient going to Africa...and yet the looming home situations cause me to think..."why us?"

A quick couple of quotes and thoughts from the book:

• He put you through hard times, He made you go hungry.  Then he fed you with manna, something neither you nor your parents knew anything about, so you would learn that men and women don't live by bread only; we live by every word that comes from God's mouth.   Deuteronomy 8:3 (MSG)
• "Figuring out the wilderness is not our job.  If we'll just yield to God's purposes for us in the wilderness, He will protect us from ourselves and prepare us for our destiny."  pg 75
• God's not cruel and often the wilderness is better then the easy path. Maybe not physically, but spiritually God teaches us about himself, hones our spiritual selves...in the wilderness.
• Moses to the people at the end of the wilderness journal. "Remember that the LORD your God led you on the entire journey these 40 years in the wilderness, so that He might humble you and test you to know what was in your heart, whether or not you would keep His commands." (Deut. 8:2 HCSB)

We are struggling to clearly know God's will for our financial situation as we move forward. We know that on the other side of what feels like a wilderness journey we will be stronger and know God's provision with greater depth...know his voice.  

Lord,

We are waiting to know what it is that you want us to do.  We will fight and struggle to figures that out. We can see how you would be glorified and we would be stretched and blessed in both of our options. We just need to know your will...have your peace we are making the right decisions.

Speak to us and thank you for the journey....really, God...we praise you for this season.

Amen

Day 144: Experience Him

Who is Jobette? Me (smiling). The life of Job has intrigued me for the past 6 years as we've struggled through our life challenges. My nickname to myself as challenges come up, is Jobette. A simple reminder that God allows trials and hurts into our lives.

Buy why? While reading PricillaShirer's One in a Million this morning something she wrote beamed out like a light in the pitch darkness. Shirer writes of Job:

     "Why would God lead a person like this to the wilderness?  Maybe the answer we're seeking comes at the end of Job's ordeal.  After a long, torturous run through some of the driest, dustiest conditions ever known to man, Job was able to articulate something he could never have put into these kinds of words before.  He said to the Lord, 'I have heard of You by the hearing of the ear'--back when I was safe and secure in my happy, unhurried world--'but now my eye sees You' (42:5). Now I know You by experience."

She goes on to speak of God's reasoning for leading the people in the least direct path to Canaan. Even though there was nearer route why would God take them the long way? (This is before their refusal to go into Canaan)  "The People might change their minds" (Exod. 13:17).   Change their minds means they might have regrets or a change of heart.  

Have we gone through all we did to experience first hand God's provision? We didn't loose everything! He has provided the necessities for us...and a few bonuses. We have more than heard of God's provision.

We know Him by experience.

Perhaps, OK, not perhaps...my home has been an idol in my life. I realized it when I was preaching my last series and defined an  idol as something we trust, have faith in, more then God. 

This is what I sensed God clarifying for me:  I'm not sure I trust God that I'll be able to have a nice home when I get back from Africa...what will the interest rates be? Cost of living? Where will we have to be? Where will we work to even qualify for a home? Will a short sale ruin our credit?  So I'm trusting that if I keep this home my future will be taken care ... I'm placing trust and faith  in a physical structure more so then in God.

Ahh ha! God had us fight to keep above water so we would "Know Him by experience"

It is by experience that we will continue to know him...our minds to have no regrets as we place our feet on South African soil. How freeing would that be...not to worry about mortgages here...tremendous!

Father,
You know me so well. I am a hands on learner.  Thank for your revelations and insight this morning. Continue to lead us in your path...the direction you would have us to go. To relinquish what you would have us relinquish. Or even to fight for what you would have us fight for. 
Amen

Day 143: Anxious thoughts

"Search me, O God, and know my heart; try me and know my anxious thoughts;and see if there be any hurtful way in me, and lead me in the everlasting way"  Psalm 139:23-24

"... You anoint my head with oil"  Psalm 23:5

Recent life lessons are focusing on my mind and outlook.  It is so difficult to stay focused and a conscious effort to look for my God in the middle of hurt and disappointment.

What are the chances? We were told within the same week that both of our mothers have breast cancer. In fact, they were both having a biopsy the same day in different locations. My mom's was discovered early and the outlook is promising. I have a peace about that. Nanny Sue's is much more advances - it had moved also to her lungs and colon. She has begun oral chemo therapy. This is a harder one to have a peace about.

The dilemma of our home situation looms heavy. The decisions hard. Short sale because both homes are upside down. How embarrassing is that to say? Horrible. To have lived in one home for 20 years...make a conscious effort not to incur needless debt...waiting for God's house for us to retire in. When we sensed God's nudging we made the move. Then the world stepped in.  Did we wrongly hear God? I don't believe we did. When I think of all the faith building we experienced and opportunities to see his provision I see his plan, his love, his provision.  Did God make a mistake? He doesn't make mistakes. My challenge...God, what do we do now? We need wisdom cloaked in faith and trust in you our Soverign God.

Africa. Two sick mommas. Two homes upside down.

Make sense?  No

What to do? Don't know

Spiritual battle. Trust God as much for the years beginning  6 years into our future after we return as much as we are trusting him now and for the 5 years on the field.

Walk away? Do we short sale and stick the mortgage company...if they will even accept a short sale.

Is this scriptural? Honorable? Are we depriving God from demonstrating himself  as Jehovah Jireh once again?

Lord,
Lead me in the everlasting way. Like the shepherd placed oil in the sheep's nostrils to prevent parasites from entering and causing the sheep's head to hurt and be distracted. Place the oil on my head so that I'm not distracted by the world...I want what you want...to know your will.  Please bring answers and remove my anxious thoughts. I don't want to take them with me to South Africa.

Your confused servant

Day 142: The Joy of The Lord

"Don’t be dejected and sad, for the joy of the Lord is your strength!”   Nehemiah 8:10

There are times when circumstances are so crazy  you have to make a choice- cry or laugh. There are times when continued challenges are chosen to be viewed as either  the deceiver trying to rob you of all your joy and nothing more, or the Lord's opportunity to work.  Recently in one of those times we chose joy and to remember as Joseph said to his brothers, "You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives."  (Genesis 50:20)

6:30 am on a Saturday morning -  "Mom, you'll never guess what?  I'm broke down in the middle of the intersection, pushed car to side. Tow truck on the way."   Thus we were on our way to Lynchurg to the rescue and recover a car with 170,000 miles. 18 hours later mission accomplished

Monday/Tuesday - search and find a solid and affordable used car for our girl. Praise the Lord we were blessed!

Monday one week later

• Afternoon phone call #1:  Daughter's new to her car has to be towed to dealership. Won't start. New ignition switch needed and repaired.
• Afternoon phone call #2: from daughter-in-law driving our car for work...belt broke - car needs to be towed.
• Raining - can't drive the truck because windshield wipers work sporadically.
• Waiting for tow truck in Norfolk - car we are driving to meet tow truck won't re-start. Get it going once tow company arrives and are able to drive this one home.

It seemed like one calamity after another. I actually believed at one point I couldn't take one more thing...I was ready to just jump off the ship. The final straw was the car not starting that we were waiting in to meet the tow truck to tow the other car! I said to myself...seriously...3 tow bills in one day for the Warrens...go figure!

I had to do a switch in attitude...the verse above kept coming into my mind and spirit! Thank you Lord for the joy of laughter! Knowing you are with us and we will be ok.  Knowing that we may endure much greater challenges in Africa. Can we laugh and maintain our focus then? This is a preparation season. Praying the Lord will allow our two vehicles to last 11 more months...Lord, please...11 more months.

The passage from Nehemiah is well known. What may not be so well known is the people have been crying and wailing as they have listened to the God's word being read. The prophet tells them...stop crying...go and be merry.  It's good to be broken and convicted by God's word.  There are, however, times when it is better to rejoice in the Lord and it is just the joy of his presence and knowing he is in control, he sees, and he cares, that causes us to laugh.

Laugh I did!

Day 141: Jehovah-jireh

My tendency is to focus on what needs to be done, what we need, what the challenges are, etc.  Instead of focusing on what God has done and is currently doing.  Why am I that way?

This week I have had two opportunities to hear how God provides Daily. First,  JD, our Ex. Pastor, was leading devotion and spoke of the Israelites daily Manna and Quail.  God providing just enough for that day. They couldn't stock up...expect on the eve of the Sabbath so they could rest on the Sabbath, otherwise the manna and quail would spoil.  Daily provision.  The connection was also made to our daily time with the Father. We will go through an intense season of QT's and then the pace of life picks up so we slack off thinking we have enough to keep us going. But, in reality, that's not the case. We need daily time and feeding from the Lord.

Second was at our ladies Bible study this week one member had her mother that is visiting from out of state with her. Her name is also Debbie. Debbie for several years was on staff as the Missions Pastor for her church. She went through the tragedy of losing a 21 year old daughter to cancer in the matter of a few months.  I don't want to forget one thing Debbie said, "God taught me that he is giving me grace for this day...just this day." 

On top of these two occurrences, I'm reviewing the names of God from the Bible study and am struck by El Shaddai - all sufficient one. Some scholars believe this name is connected to the life coming forth from a mother's breast to her child. The breast is all-sufficient to the child.  My thought is the child only receives the nutrition it needs for that time span and then must nurse again.  The infant can't stock up for an extended amount of time. Without regular, daily, nursing the child will whither. I need to call on El Shaddai daily or I will absolutely whither.

My Lessons ~

• Daily time with the Father is not an option...no stocking up...it is essential
• God provides what I need daily and that's what I'm to focus on. His goodness now.
• He is the God of the future...not me.

Where do I see God now?

• Lonnie completed BE I, II, and is in final stages of BE III . He is working on the ministry plan. He will have a coach for 12 weeks as he refines it.  It will be a foundation of our ministry.
• A mission partner supplied the bulk of the tuition for BE I, II, & III
• Lonnie is excited to complete the ministry plan...there is such joy in his spirit.
• LU sent me a one year contract as a full-time online professor. This means I am assured 9 classes this year and will be paid semi-monthly. In the past it has been a wait and see if I have a course and the pay is one lump sum 3 weeks after the course ends.  This is HUGE in anticipating income for the mission field. The Lord just gave assurance and regularity of income.   
• A talented web designer has volunteered offered to help me with our web page.
• God is building networks for His ministry. We had a marvelous meeting with an individual that works for a non-profit that produces Character Education curriculum for use in 3rd world countries. They are setting up an office in Pretoria, SA this summer.  This organization also has connections with JAM. JAM is another ministry we will be speaking with in regards to partnership.  We walked away excited that is weaving his ministry together!

What's my take away?  God is my daily provider...grace for this day...filling of my spirit for this day. Each morning I must do the work of seeking after Him.

Jehovah-jireh, I praise and thank you for all your provision! Amen

Day 140: Can't tell me God doesn't see me!

The Story-in a nutshell

Our daughter is moving from one townhouse into another. She needs her dad and I to come with the 1993 very faithful pickup truck to help with the move. We were scheduled to go on the Sunday of Memorial Day Weekend after worship services and come home  Memorial Day evening. Plans changed as her move-in was delayed. Instead, we left Tuesday afternoon at 2:30 planning to return Wednesday night late. The chain of events:

• Leave home at 2:30... truck is old and has no air conditioning or working radio so we are happily trucking along with the  windows down just chatting away on a hot 90 degree summer day. Actually enjoying the ride and each other.
• 30 minutes away from our destination at 6:00 p.m. Lonnie say: "Look at the speedometer...it is jumping up to 90 miles an hour...the other gauges are going crazy too...
• pull over at gas station/market...as pull in steam rolling from under the hood...this isn't good.  Seems like the alternator is fried.
• Lonnie goes in and I start praying...text Becca to pray as well as others. I pray, "Lord, help us...thanks for getting us 11 miles from Bec but please help us."
• Market lady no help...guy getting gas directs up to an Advance Auto 6 miles down road. Turn key on truck...hummm....turn again crank up....battery not dead.
• Make it to auto parts, still open..yea God!  Free check of alternators...yea God! Alternator Fried...but they have one in stock...yea God! 
• Who will repair it? Praying now for a good mechanic...not a rip off artist. Send us to a shop another 5 miles away...will it be open? will we make it? It's open and we make it...yea God!
• Shop open until 8:00 ...estimate of 7/10th of an hour to put in new alternator...it's 7:20 and they can get us in....yea God!
• Oh, my cell phone is dying...actually dead.
• Walk into a/c lounge...sit down...Gideon Bible beside me...electrical outlet beside me....Read Psalms and charge my phone...yea God!
• 8:10...on our way to Becca! 12:15 am Thursday arrive safely back at home.

Wow, My El Roi - The omnipresent God that sees me...worked it all out. We didn't travel on a Sunday or Holiday when no one would have been open...yea God!  We weren't traveling back late at night and stranded on the side of the road Wednesday night...yea God!

El Roi,
Thank you that you do see and know we need your help. Thank you for the perfect timing of this as it greatly diminished my stress.  Challenges do come but I'm so blessed that this time you were helping us out! Lord, some will say this is by chance...I know it is not. Help me to recall this event when I might doubt your love and active involvement in our lives.
Thank you my Lord, Amen