Day 135: Good things

Deuteronomy 28: 2
All these good things will come upon you if you will obey the Lord your God.

In one leadership model I am in the D2 phase as a disciple. I am a learner that is overwhelmed, afraid, feeling incompetent. I don't know how we will accomplish what is before us. I don't know how we will even get there. We have made the sharp turn from blissful, excited ignorance...also called unconscious incompetence...into conscious incompetence. Painful.

In Deuteronomy Moses is preparing the people to enter the promised land. They will have to fight, and fight hard to overtake it. How must they have felt? Excited? Over whelmed? Nieve? My list could go on.

In some ways we are beginning a journey into our promised land. As I read the words of Moses to God's people I found comfort. Good will come to you  ~

• in the city (Pretoria) and the country (SA)
• to your children...praise you Lord!
• the fruit of your ground and the young of your animals...in our work
• in your basket and your bread pan ... you will provide our income
• when you come in, and when you go out.....as we go and when we come back to the states. I don't have to worry about coming back and where we will live or where we will work to survive.
• the Lord will send good upon you in your storehouses ... our savings and future needs
• He will bring good to you in the Land the Lord your God gives you

and here is the condition....but you must keep the laws of the Lord your God and walk in his ways.  (v.9)

Abba,
Help us to walk in your way...to not be afraid...trapped by uncertainty, doubt, fear.  If we don't go we are disobeying you. I know this.  I also know that you make all things work together for our good and I praise you for that promise. When I am discouraged help me to refocus on you. Help me to tune out the lies and hear your truth. I thank you for your promises given in you words and to my heart.
Amen

Day 134: Seeds, Hearts, and Their Eyes

Last week we received the formal letter of invitation from Eastside asking us to come and be missionaries! Wooo Who!  And we know that when God works...so does the evil one that comes to rob and steal.
It's been a tough  week.  So much going on ministry wise, personally, and with LU teaching.  In the midst of all that...being weary ... I fully believe the attacks began from Satan. Two really strange nightmares. Lonnie receiving news his job is once again on the chopping block for city budget cuts.



Reading Luke 8: 4-15 the parables of the man who planted seeds. I was sensing God say to me...keep your focus Debbie. Some impressions:

• "Some seed feel between the rocks.  As soon as it started to grow, it dried up because it had no water."   You need to be the giver of living water to them...my word...continue to give to them.
• "Some seed feel among thorns. The thorns grew and did not give the seed room to grow."  The evil surrounding the children can choke out what I want to do...the pagan worship, crime, sin.  You will be my hands and feet to them...their anchor to me.
• "Then the devil comes and takes the Word from their hearts"   Debbie this is what can happen to the children that hear about me during holiday club. They need to continually hear how much I love them.  
• "And the fun of this life lets the thorns grow.  Their grain never becomes full-grown."    Debbie, even if one child becomes "full grown" in me this is what I'm asking.

I sensed once again the Lord asking me to visualize their eyes...their hearts.  My heart broke...

Lord,

This is worth it...the battle here. Continue to speak into my weary heart and help me fight. You are good! You are love! You love us and intend good for us. You love the boys and intend good for the boys. Be with Lonnie and I as we move towards your future for us.  Thank you that your word is alive and real today...thank you Jesus for speaking into my today through your words of yesterday.

Amen

Day 133: Warrior God

The nation of Israel had to fight their way into the Land of Promise. God promised it to them...yet they had to fight.  But our Warrior God was with them and they won. Scripture tells us they won but that win had to of come with the cost of life on their part also. Where there is war, their are causalities. Just because God is saying to move forward, fight the battle, this doesn't mean it will be without hurt and pain.

I was struck by these thoughts again as I read in Deuteronomy 2.  God tells his people go in a way but the king would not let them through. How often do I believe that if God says, "Go this way" that there is a clause giving a "free pass" to pain and hurt.

God said go and he is a loving God so surely it is the easiest way, right?

Wrong

"But Sihon king of Hesbon was not willing to let us pass through his land.  For the Lord your God made his spirit and heart hard, so He mihgt give him into your hand, as he is today.  Then the Lord said to me, 'See I have begun to give Sihon and his land to you.  Begin to take it for your won, so you may live in it....We won the fight against him, his sons and all his people."  Deuteronomy 2:30-33

Remembering that God is a Warrior God keeps me focused that this is war...God will walk with us and fight with us...what a blessing that He is The Warrior God...we will win the fight against what we can't see.

My God, thank you for the reminders this morning. When challenges come this is not a sign that you are not there...it is an opportunity to show your mighty power. Amen

Day 132: The problem demonstrates His Power

2 Corinthians 12:7 -10

7To keep me from becoming conceited because of these surpassingly great revelations, there was given me a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me. 8Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. 9But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. 10That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.


Why would God call us into a ministry so far away with seemingly impossible challenges both before we get there and after? Why would there be such an uphill struggle, financially, to be prepared to live entirely on God's provision for 5 years? God is in this right?

Because in this manner He will receive all the honor. Nothing will be because of our wise choices. Nothing will be because of our education. Nothing will be because of the financial state of our economy. It will all be because of who God is...he is God of all things.

I'm beginning to see it more clearly. For the first time I notice  Paul say, " This problem was a messenger from Satan, sent to beat me and keep me from being too proud."   Satan sent it...it was a beating and boy do I feel beat...but the purpose is for God's glory to keep me from being proud.  The Lord told Paul, "My grace is enough for you. When you are weak, my power is made perfect in you."  This is such an opportunity for God to shower his grace and show his mighty power. 

Father,
Thank you for your continued reminder that it is not by our power we will be on the mission field...it will be by your grace and power.  I know that when I'm there and in the dark moments of mission work it will be the miraculous power and miracle of your provision that affirms our calling there.  This financial problem will be a blessing and a reminder of our calling. It will lead us back to recall your grace.  Continue to provide even a few sections of fence...your grace.
Amen

Day 131: Shuffle Your Buns :)

There's a game we use to play when we were active in youth ministry many years ago, called "shuffle your buns."  There is a circle with one less chair then people buns. The leader calls "go" and everyone starts scooting or shuffling their buns around the circle until "Stop" and the one without a seat for their buns is out. It gets rather wild and crazy!

The point of this past memory? I'm living "shuffle your buns" but I know I'm the one that will in the future be without a chair in this circle.  I attended a telecast conference at our associational office the other week where one of the speakers said, transition = change = loss = grief therefor grieve well.     As I shuffle my buns from the second chair to the third chair I have worked through the sense of loss and  grief  and now I am emerging on the well side.  I'm excited about what God is doing in our midst and I see his timing in the details. We are shuffling our buns in relation to our roles in the lives of our children. From parent to coach to cheerleader.  I grieve here also...but am thankful for the emerging relationships and how God is using them. His plans for their futures.

My challenge? How do I stay in the moment, the here and now, for the next season of my life?  God has us here and it is here we live, love, and minister.  We are praying for joy right now. Lonnie needs joy in his work place.  I need to continue developing those I'm with now,  focusing on what I am doing now and doing it well.

All at the same time as we "Shuffle our buns" towards the next phase of our lives.

With God's help we will do well.  Psalm 60:12

Abba,
We will do well but only with your help. Thank you for helping us see you are work around us. Help us to see you at work in the personal details of our lives...finances, housing decisions, to-do lists.  Oh! God thank you our neighbor put up a section of his fence that needed to be replaced so badly! Check...you took care of that one!  Yes! The details, Lord. The small things that we can so easily miss.  I love it when you show me yourself in the smallest of details.  Thank you for your help....continue to help us shuffle our buns well.

Amen.

Day 130: Peace

There is a peace that is emerging today. As I begin to put together our prayer partner list and letter, and a pacing/countdown calender, I am experiencing a sense of peace and anticipation. Each time I repeat the date and hear the countdown months it brings less anxiety. 

I was reading a Psalm this morning...praying it for Becca as she takes a big test, and also praying it for myself.

"But as for me, I will sing of Your strength. Yes, I will sing with joy of Your loving-kindness in the morning.  For You have been a strong and safe place for me in times of trouble. O my Strength, I will sing praises to You.  For God is my strong-place and the God Who shows me loving-kindness."  Psalm 59:16, 17

Father,
I appreciate your peace and the joy of being in your will.  Even when I have a meltdown in the evening you awaken me with a joy and a hope in the morning.  Help me to remember that you are our strength...I trust you with the details.
Amen

Day 129: Urgh!

After a 2 hour time of discussing steps towards our future with two wise men, Lonnie so elequently says, "If you're scared, just say you're scared."  Well, I'm scared. Lord I don't feel prepared. Lord, I don't feel adaquate. Lord, I'm scared. The spiritual battle begins and I feel like Moses..."Lord, can you just send someone else because I don't think I have what it takes." "Why me God?" "What do we have to offer?" "Can we really do what people think we can do?" "Are we nieve?" "How will we make it?"


I'm sure God is saying..."That's the point. That's the point! You don't have all the answers. It's not about you!"

What was looming far in the future has approached. The list of to-do's with deadlines in 6 weeks are put to paper. Concrete. 
urghhh...not a very intelligent word; however, there are times that only "urgh" will do and this is one of those times.  Then I recall Romans 10 and I find peace.  Peace that if it were all about me God wouldn't be glorified...I would be. 


Romans 10:14, 15
14 How, then, can they call on the one they have not believed in? And how can they believe in the one of whom they have not heard? And how can they hear without someone preaching to them? 15 And how can they preach unless they are sent? As it is written, "How beautiful are the feet of those who bring good news!"