Day 67: If---

Believing God

My son, if you accept my words and store up my commands within you,
turning your ear to wisdom and applying your heart to understanding,
and if you call out for insight and cry aloud for understand,
and if you look for it as for silver and search for it as for hidden treasure,
then you will understand the fear of the Lord and find the knowledge of God.
Proverbs 2:1-5 (NIV)

if---accept
if---store up- memorize
if---call out
if----cry aloud
if----look
then you will understand and find

The Lord is teaching me that it is work on my part...active work...not just casually reading his word as if reading the newspaper to understand him and see him at work. It is a driven desire to know...to explore...to dig. As a Christ follower I need to accept that his words are true...memorize those words...take time to call out and cry out aloud~ there's a word-aloud and look for him! to be a student of his word.

Father, help each of us to make this a part of our life journey. You tell us that when we seek you with our whole hearts we will find you... Oh, Lord, I am seeking your best for our lives. For the lives of those at Coastal. The lives of the boys in SA.

You are a God of miracles and wonders. Open my eyes to see what you are doing around us so that I can join you and grow in my knowledge of you and understanding of you.

Amen

Day 66: Internal vs External

Believing God

Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen Ephesians 3:20-21

Everything is possible for him who believes. Mark 9:23

You may recall that when I began this spiritual journey I mentioned two fleeces I was laying before the Lord in regards to the calling on our lives after Lonnie's retirement. Today as I was watching the teaching segment of Believing God a question crept in that made me squirm. The question was this....

"Are my requests before God ego driven?"

As the session went on and Beth taught about the old covenant and how God provided the external needs of his people but under the new covenant of Jesus ~ God's prioritizes the internal work he is doing in us. He is in us now! His Holy Spirit dwells in us. He is most concerned about my inner spirit and strength than about the outward. As I am contemplating this I am before my Lord saying:

Lord! Forgive me! When I think about the fleeces there is a chance that they were ego driven. I must declare before you Father that I had not processed the miracles you are doing within me as strongly and that they would be your priority. I first saw where you weren't outwardly answering our cries and requests and perhaps appeased myself to say...but God has done this in our lives regarding our communication, dependence on him, etc. But God the first is the miracle! It is a miracle that you would even consider Lonnie and I for service to you with the least of these. That you would find us worthy to go there in your most Holy name. Lord, I've known that as I look back over the past five years, and the journey of financial trials, emotional ups and downs, that you had us on you were absolutely preparing us to be missionaries. I know now that when I prayed "Lord, get us ready to be your missionaries" that your priority would be the preparation deep within our spirits. I'm seeing it Father. Thank you for the miraculous work you are doing here in me! Amen

Am I crazy? Am I justifying what God is doing? I don't think so...because

God is who He says He is
God can do what he says he can do
I am who God says I am
I can do all things through Christ
God's word is active in me

I Believe God!

Day 66: Bara

Believing God

You are probably wondering what "bara" has to do with this writing. According to Strong's "bara" is to create, shape, form - always with God as the subject, the one doing the forming. It is God's miracle of creating out of nothing.

This day I am pondering Psalm 51:10 - Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a right spirit within me. Clean is purer.... Renew is to repair....right is to be enduring, to be steady.

Lord, this is my prayer,

"Shape in me a purer heart, O God, and repair my spirit to be enduring of life challeges and steady in my faithfulness to you. Father, I need you and I know you are who the Bible says you are, I am who you created me to be and I can do all things through you because you will give me the strength. Your word oh Lord is alive and active in my life. I believe in you!

Bless our children as they journey through life. Be with Mike as he discerns your best for him in life and relationships. Walk closely with Becca as you prepare her for SA this summer. Help her to be aware of the spiritual battles that will come. Give wisdom to James as he leads his ministry. Bring to joy to Kelsey as she finishes this season and looks to you to provide for her next phase. Bless our marriage. We stand before you with palms up in regards to our finances...may we be Stewards that honor you first.

Amen

Day 65: New Sprouts

But those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. Isaiah 40:31a

I wondered if I should do the assignment, in Believing God, to select at least two words from Isaiah 40:21-31 and research the original Hebrew meaning of them in Strong's. It involved getting the computer and doing a word study. What words would I choose and would it make a difference? I'm so glad I did it!

Without seeming too intellectual let me share with you a few synonyms in Hebrew for the three words (ok, so I couldn't settle on just 2 words) and then share with you how I paraphrased the verse.

• Hope: wait, look for, expect eagerly, lie in wait --- I especially keyed in on "lie in wait" because it is active and anticipating what I am expecting will occur.
• Renew: change, grow-up, after, sprout again --- there is that word-"change"- to renew is not to go back to where you were in a rested state, it means a change and new growth-sprout again. Like my bamboo sitting on the counter...it is cut back but will sprout again.
• Strength: ability, fruits, force --- "fruits" surprised me as it is a product of growth.

My Paraphrase of v 31 ...but those who lie in wait for the Lord will find their ability changed and renewed. New growth will occur as we wait for the Lord.

Oh, my goodness. The Lord once again used his Words of Old to boldly step into my life today. Faith is about hope. And hope is eagerly waiting for and anticipating what my God will do so that my ability, in my case faith, can be changed...it can develop new sprouts of growth as a result of the waiting.

Thank you Father for the moments I can only hope in you because all else seems futile. Those times when I don't know the answer, but, I actively lie in wait to see you in action. While I wait I am changing and growing new sprouts of faith, with new fruits that I can share. Where you will have me share this fruit, use this fruit, be dependent on this fruit for sustenance, I'm not sure; however, I know you know and I will need it! I adore your Word and how you speak to me through it. Amen

Day 64: Fighting Back

Yesterday's Back to the Bible devotion focused on the lies Satan whispers to us. Our defense to these lies must be God's word.

Monday in staff huddle (a time of intentional discipleship with our ministry staff) I was challenged to come up with a plan regarding building my faith and how to respond when I realize I'm anxious. Off the top of my mind I mentioned to those at the table my action could be to memorize scripture so that I could recall it when my faith was challenged and the test of anxiety was upon me. It seemed like the "godly" and "spirtual" answer.

Today in Believing God we looked at many scriptures to support us in concepts related to our faith.

So...I think this is my message from the Lord.
PUT MY WORDS IN YOUR MEMORY!

I can honestly say two things:
1- The scripture that I've placed in my memory I use!
2- I cop out by saying "Oh scripture memory is not one of my strong points" and I let myself off the hook, so to speak.

So my action plan is to memorize:
Mark 9:23 "If you can?" said Jesus. "Everything is possible for him who believes."
Jeremiah 33:3 "Call to me and I will answer you and tell you great and unsearchable things you do not know."

Accountability: If you see me you have my permission to ask me about Mark 9:23 and Jeremiah 33:3! Please do because for me to not know it in front of you will be a great motivator! I don't like looking silly. Pride? Yes! But God can use it for good.

Lord, I ask for the tenacity to do this~putting your words deep into my memory. May I not listen to the deceiver tell me I can't or shouldn't. Thank you that your words are alive and mean so mcuh to me when I use them. I recognize the coures of events this week have not been my accident or chance...you intended for me to this message. You are amazing! Amen

Day 62: Unchallenged

I've been away...on vacation with friends; but, God has continued to teach me and hone my understanding of faith. I've also been advised by a very wise young man...my son James...that some people think my blogs are too long...humm...I guess they can be so I'll try to condense. They were long because this is by electronic journal; but, I'll keep it shorter and write personal family prayer request elsewhere.

If you've been following this blog you know God is teaching me about faith. I have struggled with questions like: God, is my faith strong enough? God, am I just not getting it and that is why I have to keep learning it? God, is there a reason I'm not seeing answers?

I read this sentence in my Beth Moore study, Believing God, and I about jumped out of my seat. I had to rest on the sentence a bit. This is it

Faith that remains unchallenged ordinarily remains unchanged. (pg. 30)

That's it! As God continues to challenge my faith he is strengthening it, making it practical, giving me life moments to come back to when the going is difficult. I thought the initial move from NL to Court Circle was a financial move...so we must have messed up! But it wasn't. God was getting us ready to be missionaries not financially, but in faith! It is not that I'm not getting it and have to have continual remediation...praise the Lord. It is that I am getting it and he is helping me to strengthen those FAITH muscles...again, praise the Lord.

Now honestly, it is not a fun work out at times! But when I have to live through the really tough times I'm appreciative for the work out. Like an athlete that works muscles and skills again and again to the point of exhaustion and muscle aches...but sees the payoff in the game or race.

Lord, thank you! I can see blessing. I do see my inner spirit more confident and able to recognize my anxious thoughts so I can deal with them in faith. Continue to teach us what we need to know in order to survive, no flourish in your name, in SA. Oh, and about those fleeces....if it is in your will to answer in that manner, ok. If it is not in your will, ok. Just please let us know when the time is right in a manner that is undeniably you. We understand that faith involves some doubt and the possibility we could be wrong. We are willing totake the first step knowing you are right there with us.

Amen

Day 61: Romans 4 Challenge

Yesterday was My Birthday!
I didn't blog, but I did have my time with my Father. I got up at 5 a.m. because it was important to me. I did the study, and was on my to Richmond for a meeting at 7:30. Last night Lonnie invited some friends over for dinner. He prepared a wonderful dish of pasta and shrimp. James and Kelsey were here...Mike and Becca Skyped in...I love technology. I miss my children so much when we have family events and we are all apart. But my birthday celebration was wonderful. Lord, thank you for 51 years of life in you.

Believing God

He touched their eyes and said, "According to your faith will it be done to you. Matthew 9:29

We are challenged in the study to read Romans 4 twenty times before the end of the 10 weeks. So today was time #1.

I am struggling with scripture where Jesus says "your faith has made you clean" or "according to your faith you will be healed." I know with 100% of my heart that my God is capable to heal and move mountains. In the scripture though he speaks poorly to his disciples that could not cast out a demon. He says it it was a faith issue. How can that be?

What does that look like in my life? I say I have faith...but do I mask that with a pitiful excuse of saying "If it is not God's will I guess it won't happen"? Is that my crutch? How do I place a fleece out and at the same time say my faith is strong and I know God can, but maybe he won't. How do I respond to friends with chronic illness that have pleaded and begged for healing...it can't be a lack of faith...my God can...but he doesn't.

But I always come down to ...does God desire to because it is in my best interest, or my friends best interest. Are there lessons and spiritual growth I'm experiencing in the midst of the no? Of course there have been, I know this! But, how does this equate with my faith. Will my faith be a stumbling block. Will I learn about you God in the midst of the pain of potentially losing a home? My heart grieves that we can't eliminate the debt. We make steps forward and then back again. We are thankful for the blessings and the provision...but the same two struggles won't go away.

God, in faith I once again place the fleeces before you. Remove my doubt. It really is not there. I have no doubt in your power or ability. Help me to know how to navigate this concept...you responding to us based on our faith. Where I lack I pray for faith. I ask that I not allow the author of lies or deceiver to speak lies and doubt into my spirit. You, oh Lord, can move the mountains that crowd into my spirit. I surrender and yet they are there. I believe and yet they are there. I beg and yet they are there. I step in your direction, and they are there.

I boldly pray that they would be answered by you as an affirmation of ministry timing. Oh my father, teach me to discern your voice and help me settle the questions I face in my spirit. It can't all be about faith that heals...there has to be more....I am searching for my own understanding and so that I can help others.

Reminder:
God is who he says he is. Holy, pure, loving, caring, there with me
God can do what he says he can do Move mountains, forgive, change lives, provide
I am who God says I am A new creation, his child, his servant
I can do all things through Christ I can move mountains that God calls me to move.
God's word is alive and active in me I crave his word!


Be with my children, especially the one that is on my heart heavy this morning.

Amen