Day 88: So Quickly my spirit changes

Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, ... Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life? Matthew 6:25a, 27

Oh how I need His word and the presence of the Holy Spirit today. I have identified my other battle ground (in addition to finances) or to say my weak point. A place where I am most vulnerable. If I am to worry...if I am to question and beg before the Lord, it almost always involves my children. If my life can be turned upside down with one phone call...from being confident in the Lord and peaceful...to falling face down before him pleading and weeping on behalf of something...it involves my children.

There is an assumption when reading a post like this that one of our children has done something horrible, but, that is not case. For the privacy of the kids I don't want to say what it is..but it is not life threatening. And in a month or two it might even seem silly. In fact I am sure it will when I look back and see how God works.

God is at work in this...I know it. In my quiet time devotion there is a quote from George Muller...."The greater the trial, the sweeter the victory."

Oh my Father in heaven make this a living statement. Bring sweet victory in this battle. Raise up your servant and present them as honorable, strong, committed, full of determination to follow you. Bless them in their obedience to you and to those around them.

Heal my heart Holy Spirit. Fill the tears of a mother's pain with tears of your joy.

Word of God speak to me ... continue to speak to me so that I too may reflect you to my children.

Added note~ I left the blog and read the online devotion-which I haven't done in a while~
OK GOD...YOU DO SPEAK AND I THANK YOU...even though it is still diffacult:
Back to the Bible on line devotion writes this:

"Today we may have to settle for the satisfaction of knowing what we have done is right; in the future, the God who keeps impeccable records will take care of the rewards.
Are you facing a thankless task? Are your efforts going unsung and unpraised? Don't be concerned. Do what you know is right and remember that, someday, your Heavenly Father will see to your rewards."

Day 87: Nothing...

Nothing is going right....nothing is the same....nothing will work out....I've got nothing to offer...and the list of nothings could go on.

It is easy to fall into that cycle when the hardship of life steps in. To focus on the challenge and what I don't have. I'm praying for my in-laws health. Really concerned about Nanny Sue. Praying for Becca and her knee injury. A week ago I was upset over scholarships...today I'm just praying she can continue to play the game she loves. Mike's dream to play oversees...is that your will Lord? Kelsey needs a job in her career...when Lord? James needs wisdom in leading a growing ministry and timing on seminary. Shew.....

But your word is always right on time in my life:


For I know that nothing can keep us from the love of God. Death cannot! Life cannot! angels cannot! Leaders cannot! any other power cannot! Hard things now or in the future cannot! The world above or the world below cannot! and other living thing cannot keep us away from the love of god which is ours through Christ Jesus our Lord. Romans 8:38-39

Quote from "The 365 Daily Promise Bible" page 777:
"When things go wrong in life, we may feel as though we've been abandoned by God. But we can find strength and comfort in today's scripture, for God has promised that His love is more powerful than anything in the world---stronger even than death! Our Lord will never keep His love from us, no matter what circumstances life may bring our way. There's no other love like that."

Praise you Lord for the truth...you are the truth....your love! Nothing....

Day 86: "Focus" Like My Daughter

Praise the Lord, O my soul, and forget not all his benefits. Psalm 103:2

I have so much to learn from my daughter.

True confession today.

The Lord has been working with my spirit all night....

A Great friend sent me a text last night to tell me God news regarding her daughter, a teammate of my daughter. We were rejoicing in God's amazing outcome and answer to our prayers.

Today is the first day back on the court for the girls. I know the hard work they are facing. I know how hard my daughter works, fights her own pain to push forward, the leader and encourager she is to her teammates. I know how she encourages and demonstrates teachability, respect, determination. I also know she is concerned about her physical condition after being on mission trip and then a knee injury following that. I want to swoop in and make it all right! I don't want her to endure feeling less then the top of her game. I want to think she only hears encouragement as she is working so hard and making a contribution to this team.

I want...I want...I want... and so quickly I am back on the roller coaster ride of emotional up and downs associated with being the parent of a collegiate athlete. I am leaving the Lord's desires and promises behind to run ahead...I loose my spiritual focus.

My friend typed powerful words to me..."Becca will see so many benefits from the time she has spent on this team. She will get a better job because of what she has learned and will be an amazing coach because of it. Hard to see it now but it will happen. God will be pleased with her and bless her through this."

Oh she is so right! I lost focus. Even for a short 15 minutes. I lost the focus. God used the late night text conversation to also remind me of this verse:

Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thought. Psalm 139:23

Ok, I get it...this is yet another one of my battle grounds ... my anxious thought. God is caring for and molding Bec for life beyond college! God loves her and this has been an amazing growing time for her. She sees His benefits. She wouldn't trade it for anything!

I cried two weeks ago when I looked at her mission trip pictures. I realized how God was using all she has gone through to create his workmanship...to glorify Him. On the mission field she was energetic, focused, confident of God's presence, determined, and a leader.

"Focus, Debbie, focus." I hear my Abba say, "Focus on me and don't forget all My benefits. I am focusing on Bec. This is between she and me and I've got it covered!"

Day 85: Wait

Hate that word...wait...wait in line...wait for laundry to be switched...wait for the job offer...wait for the apology...wait for God's answer...wait.

Patience...sounds much better
In His time...sounds promising

Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. Galatians 6:9

Love Beth Moore and looking at Strong's.... Weary-spiritless doing-to author, make ready

So my prayer is this... Lord, let me not become spiritless, far from you, in making ready what you would have us to author. I know at your time we will enjoy the benefits if we do not give up believing you and your promised land for us...where we will serve you.

The price is high...but not as high as William Carey's in the 1700's. He went to India with a clear calling from you. Took his family. Tragedy struck...son and wife died...but his impact there saved uncountable children and other lives.

Help me not grow weary....spiritless....help me to wait...with joy in my heart.

Amen

Day 84: The Eyes of God

For the eyes of the Lord range throughout the earth to strengthen those whose hearts are fully committed to him. 2 Chronicles 16:9

It can creep me out if I think about someone staring at me...continually looking at me. It can make me nervous and feel like I'm being judged if I think of God looking at me constantly only to be a hard judge waiting to catch me failing to be as He desires.

But those thoughts don't go along with God's word. 2 Chronicles tells me that God is looking for hearts committed to him for a good reason. Using Strong's to understand the original language, the verse can be paraphrased~

For the eyes of the Lord range throughout the earth to sustain and keep hold of those whose passions are complete and at peace with him.

Yes! Lord! Thank you that your eyes are looking at me to sustain me! To keep hold of me. I ask that I may continue to believe you and be at peace with your presence in my life.

Amen!

Day 83: Gigal

Then the LORD said to Joshua, "Today I have rolled away the reproach of Egypt from you." So the place has been called Gilgal to this day." Joshua 5:9

Based on the Week 8 video of Believing God.
The Hebrew people had wandered 40 years. This was the day the Lord instructed circumcision as a sign that they were no longer under "reproach" from the Lord but had entered his promised land for them. They now again bore his mark of a covenant people. There was a visible sign that they were indeed God's chosen people...set apart from the world around them.

In the middle of the Jordan (The Israelites had to cross the Jordan River to reach the land promised to them.God parted the Jordan river so they could walk over.) God asks us to move in belief and obedience towards him. Believing God is who he says he is and can do the things he says he can do.

I knew before going to Africa we were at a crossroad...the middle of the Jordan River. We had to move forward or shrink back. We are believing God and moving forward.

Based on this weeks video teaching...I am realizing I have been living under reproach. I have been carrying the shame of not preparing well for our kid's college and not trusting God to provide for my EdD. expenses. We have the school debt to show my unbelief in God's provision. I have been saying we couldn't be missionaries because of our debt. I felt shame and bondage.

Over the past week I have seen a shift. I worked on bills and with two mortgages it was impossible. I sat and looked at the numbers and said to myself, "I will not stress. I know God that you are in control. We are forgiven and doing our best. You are using this as a teaching and training time to relate to us the importance of totally depending on your provision. I don't know how you will make this work...we are ready to take whatever steps you desire...I believe you are the one to care for us and it will work. I just don't know how." With that said I walked away only a little grumpy (have to be honest) but not in a panic.

Monday night it was confirmed that God had rented the home on North Landing. The blessing is they are paying August even though they are not moving in until September and intend to be there two years. God, you are our provider. Riaan prayed that you would take this burden from us so we could focus on your intentions for our future. You answered and we are so thankful!

Lord, we walk towards you in our promised land...where we will bear fruit for you...with our past unbelief acknowledged...trusting you now to work this out. Praise you Father for we now believe and trust you 100% to make the path for us to join you in the Promised Land regardless of what we bring to you. We also ask for your wisdom to continue to make wise financial choices.

We are forgiven from our financial unbelief...we are believing you and moving towards you as you wait for us in the Promised Land.

Amen

Day 83: Our God of Today

"I love the Lord because He hears my voice and my prayers. I will call on Him as long as I live, because He has turned His ear to me." Psalm 116:1-2

Today was beach baptism in the life of Coastal. Yes, true to the first Sunday in August the skies were cloudy and it was raining. True to our God of today the rain stopped, the beach opened up and over 30 Christ-followers were baptised at the beach. God is always showing up.

I'm trying to figure out who I am on Sunday mornings. We have two amazing volunteers that are our campus Pastors at Glenwood so I can move between campuses. This is a blessing for them and for me ~ so that I can be between both campuses and talking, meeting, encouraging. But I'm struggling to get into a rhythm.

I'm trusting God in so many facets of my life right now. I know he is the God of today! I pray I am his trusting servant....

In church Hank concluded the Exodus series. On thought I can't shake...The Hebrew people saw God's provision as they left slavery...they saw God's provision...they still grumbled in the desert as soon as the going go rough...they formed their own idol...God took them to the promised land and they didn't trust that God would help them fight to inhabit it. His discipline...wander for 40 years.

Lord,
As you show us your promised land...may we not shrink back in fear due our lack of faith in you helping us to overcome the mountains. Help my weary spirit.

Give me wise counsel for my children. Listen to them as they call to you.

Amen