Day 53: Dried up Faith

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The ravens brought him bread and meat in the morning, and bread and meat in the evening; and he drank from the brook. And it happened after a while that the brook dried up, because there had been no rain in the land. 1 Kings 17:6-7

Father forgive. I'm crying before you because I'm tired of holding onto a hope that seems hopeless. It's been a tough day. All of a sudden I feel hopeless and defeated....overwhelmed. I can't see the way out. I see the dream. I see the big ask by you. I see your provision but as soon as I see it...I'm overwhelmed with the other side.

Win Collier in his book Restless Faith says "For me, faith has often equaled some form of unflinching assurance. To have faith is to know, and to know, in my sense, is to have siphoned away every uncertainty. Faith, essentially, is the absence of mystery." (pg. 84) He continues with "Faith requires, to at least some degree, some possibility that I could be wrong." (pg. 84)

God, I could be wrong. Maybe I didn't need to ask for added work. Maybe I need to accept any outcome with NL house. Maybe we will lose it. Maybe we won't go to SA. I keep praying and the two huge things before me...the fleeces if you might...are there. Always there and I can't seem to permanently remove the fear and anxiety associated with them. When I don't see you moving in them I think perhaps I'm not hearing you well. What are we to do. How are we to survive this? I am drying up at this moment. I don't have the energy to fight the enemy in my spirit. I want to hold on and say all is well...but inside I am so full of doubt.

Is that the line, God. The possibility of failure? The doubt. Is that what you require of us? If it is my heart is weeping before you. I fear we have not heard you clearly. I fear we will miss your blessing. I fear I personally will not be strong enough to walk this path with you. I have never lost faith in you, my Lord. Only my own human failing to be worthy of being called your servant.

I am afraid when our brook dries up I will not hear the direction of your voice.

Help me, Abba.

Amen

Thank you for this verse! As I'm preparing your message for Sunday this verse came about -

6In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. 7These have come so that your faith—of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire—may be proved genuine and may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed. 8Though you have not seen him, you love him; and even though you do not see him now, you believe in him and are filled with an inexpressible and glorious joy, 1 Peter 1:6-8 (NIV)

There is a purpose, Lord. May be proved genuine and may result in praise, glory, and honor.

You are a compassionate God.

Day 52: The Blessing of Adequate

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Then the word of the Lord came to him, saying, "Get away from here and turn eastward, and hide by the Brook Cherith, which flows into the Jordan. And it will be that you shall drink from the brook, and I have commanded the ravens to feed you there." So he went and did according to the word of the Lord, for he went and stayed by the Brook Cherith, which flows into the Jordan. 1 Kings 17:2-5

God shows up in ways we can't imagine nor anticipate. The prophet had spoken out to the King and had to escape for his life. Now usually when I think of someone being obedient and doing what God commands my mind doesn't flow to the point of running for one's life. But when you study the Old and New Testaments you see people dying in obedience, suffering intense hardship. But in my own "comfy" world I don't usually have to face those challenges.

Still, however, God cares about what I do face. Right now is a difficult time for us. As sure as we see God's hand of mercy and blessing, we see the fight of Satan desiring to steal and destroy the joy of the Lord within us. Actually, life is hard for so many of us. We live in a world that is sinful and suffer the consequences of human error. We shouldn't anticipate smooth going.

But what is my reaction when I am facing those difficult times? I know my God is faithful. I know my God stands with us. I know my God is in the future. I know my God keeps his promises. I know my God cares. I know my God listens. I know my God....and that is my hope.

Elijah didn't anticipate that God would use Ravens, wild birds, to provide good for him. But God did. Right there beside the river God used creation to take care of his servant. What is God using to take care of the Warren family? As we look to the horizon, may we look for God's provision and not for despair.

Lord, we are your faithful servants. Listening for the whisper of your voice to move or to stay. Anticipating where you will lead our family and how you will care for us. I can't imagine the future with out the children close...they aren't children any more though are they? They are young adults moving into their own lives. Still, I can't imagine not being able to be there with hours. I can't imagine not having the friend support and the church support. If I let my selfish mind run I can't imagine what it will be like to be a missionary and totally surrender all that I know now for what I don't know about our future.

Father, I have to go back to what I do know...I know you are faithful. I know you care and you provide. I know you are worthy of any sacrifice I could make. I know people will live in an eternity apart from you if someone doesn't tell them. I know I would rather be living in obedience to you and experiencing the human sacrifice that will take, then to be in denial of your calling and live comfortably in disobedience.

I will choose to faithfully look to the horizon and see the adequate blessings the ravens may bring.

Thank you for walking with us through difficulty. Providing for us in lean times. Comforting our fears. Giving us wonderful children...all four of them!

You are worthy,

Amen

Day 51: Would I?

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When Jeremiah entered the dungeon and the cells, and Jeremiah had remained there many days, then Zedekiah the king sent and took him out. The king asked him secretly in his house, and said, "Is there any word from the Lord?" And Jeremiah said, "There is." Then he said, "You shall be delivered into the hand of the king of Babylon!" Jeremiah 37:16-17

Before I read the commentary following this passage I commented to Lonnie, "I wonder what I would do?" It would have been so easy to just tell the King what he wanted to hear and then justify it by saying "I'm no good to anyone if I'm dead and can't keep telling them about God."

I have to say it is not easy but there have been times that I have told people what the Bible says instead of what they want to hear. I remember a time I told someone our children couldn't spend the night with them because they were not married and living together. We got some criticism for that.
This is when I learned it is difficult to be the "salt and the light" in this world.

As we venture off on mission we are usually with the mindset that we will share what Jesus is all about. When we venture outside our own doors we are not so much about that. Why? I believe fear. I am guilty.

Father, I desire to be near to your heart and that means having a burning desire for people to know you. Show me ways that I can be who I am and point people to you. Help me Holy Spirit to listen and respond to your nudge...I can take bagels to my neighbors.

Lord, it seems as if your hand is moving with the NL home. I'm not sure what is in the future, so I guess this is where the FAITH comes in. Not knowing if we made the best decision in the long run...knowing the financial hit we could take. In 2 months or less the home will be empty. We will try to sell it again...is it your timing? Father, I am trusting you. Your faithfulness in the past is the anchor we hold fast too...seeing you at work now brings peace...and knowing you are there in the future brings hope.

Thank you for our children and their compassionate hearts...keep them close.

Amen

Day 50: Word of God Speak

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Then Jeremiah called Baruch the son of Neriah; and Baruch wrote on a scroll of a book, at the instruction of Jeremiah, all the words of the Lord which He had spoken to him. Jeremiah 36:4

The Word of God is the breath of God. Woodrow Kroll


The word of God is alive for me. Over the past 50 blog entries I can see numerous times where the scripture was just what my heart needed that day. Reminders of God's sovereign power, his presence, his love and his perfect timing. Know what I needed to work on to maintain my sanity...for example, my anxious thoughts. Seeing him open the floodgates and providing so that we can do his ministry in Africa this summer. The amazing fact that Lonnie is funded, Becca almost funded, and my LU teaching will fund my trip. Seeing the extra that helps us to have an emergency saving to know it will help pay for Bec's tuition.

Ah, my fleeces....the ones I mentioned in a prior posting...the fleece before the Lord to help me confirm his desires....Lord, they are still there...I still request them before you.

I can't imagine how I would have survived the past months without my Father's word to lean into so closely. His word that helps me with my struggles...the struggles are still there but I can't imagine what it would have been like without His breath breathed into my day through his word.

Lord, I thank you for your gift. I praise you Holy Spirit for helping me to experience my Father's presence and love through His word.

Go before us this day and the first of next week as we do our best to honor you and take care of your tenant and home at NL. Lord, may our hearts be pure before you. We ask for wisdom and peace.

Walk closely to our children. Be with the mission in SA and the boys that need the safe house. I ask the certificate to come quickly and finances also to provide this for the boys.

Amen

Day 49: Call to Me!

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"Call to Me, and I will answer you, and show you great and mighty things, which you do not know." Jeremiah 33:3

Father, I am calling! Once again we must call to you because we don't understand the mind of the hurting. How do we deal with LM and keep our testimony to you? Help us to continue to be fair and righteous. Lord, my husband has been slandered, our workman, how long Father do we do this? Please, you must step in and give direction. There is nothing to difficult for you...we acknowledge that. We do not know which way to go...we need your answer and for you to show us. You have opened the floodgates to provide a way for us to move in a financial direction that will enable us to better align with your will. We are working extra jobs and hard to be excellent stewards of what you are doing. We see your hand, your love.

We also see the robber of joy rearing up. You oh Father are supreme and can prevent him from harming us. But Father, if this something we need to experience in order to serve you and be prepared then we will endure. Help us to know that though. I pray we would not be captive to fear of finances. You are our financial provider.

Oh, God, I'm rambling, forgive me. My thoughts are a mess as I struggle with "Test me and know my anxious thoughts" Right now I picture myself at your feet...warmth from your presence..tears being fought back...silence...my Abba, take this burden from us...give wisdom to Lonnie...peace to me...peace to LM...May we glorify you...

Amen

Day 48: Nothing too Hard? Correct!

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"Behold, I am the Lord, the God of all flesh. Is there anything too hard for Me?"

Jeremiah 32:27

How easily I can slip back into the mode of forgetting to read and blog...in essence...forget how important it is to have my QT time before I even begin another task. I couldn't find my keys this morning....fussing around the house...in the car digging through the messy purse. I thought suddenly, "How am I going to survive when I didn't stop to spend time with my Lord today? I am sure my mind would not be so frazzled if I had." That was so true!

I'm at work. I read the devotion on line and said, "Oh my Abba, you are amazing and thank you for reminding me! There are strange and challenging things going on in our lives. We are still fighting the battle. God, you can absolutely stand with us. I don't have to be on the garbage heap and feeling like I'm digging out. I can wait to see you at work. But like the young mother in the devotion it is sooooo difficult when life circumstances slap you in the face. How do you find hope when there is no obvious way to survive. I pray for all of those in seemingly hopeless situations. I pray that we adjust and cling to you when our lives seem hopeless. Thank you for the life lessons that have taught me you are the provider and indeed there is nothing too difficult for you.

Be with us as we continue to struggle with NL. Thank you for taxes and LU work. We can pay our bills and tuition...got a tuition notice about Mike's account today that shocked me. But Lord, somehow you have opened the floodgates to allow us to meet our needs...not necessarily wants. I pray we will be able to distinguish between the two and use your resources wisely.

Bless our children and families. Thank you for friends that are as close as family.

Amen

Day 47: Forgotten

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"No more shall every man teach his neighbor, and every man his brother, saying, 'Know the Lord,' for they all shall know Me, from the least of them to the greatest of them," says the Lord. "For I will forgive their iniquity, and their sin I will remember no more." Jeremiah 31:34

As with almost everyone there are parts of my young, college years that I would rather not recall before the Lord. This was a season before I had moved from "fire insurance" faith to a love relationship with my Lord. I did my share of party going with the girl friends...nothing terribly bad or illegal just not what I would now consider God honoring.

It is so comforting to me that once I have asked and received forgiveness that even though I recall those time...my God does not! Lord, I don't comprehend this. I recall but you do not. It is Satan himself that causes me to rehash the guilt and not believe you could forgive and forget. I guess that is what makes you God.

Thank you for working in our lives now. For the peace you are giving us. Help us to move forward towards your goal. Father, you do tell us in Malachi to test you in our giving. We are giving to you through our tithes and offering, and also through our investment in Africa missions by paying for our travel. Father, you are opening the floodgates. I may be teaching two sections of a class next D term. You know my days and nights and if I can handle the student load. Please don't allow fear to keep me from working hard and receiving your blessings. We need the finances for current tuition, maybe mortgage payment on NL house if it is without a tenant for a while, and debt repayment. It is all yours so help us to be excellent stewards and most of all trust your decisions with it. You know our hearts and goals as move towards them. Prevent us from doing anything that moves us outside of your will.

Keep close to you our 4 children today. Encourage them, whisper your love into their spirits. Give them wisdom and discernment.

Thank you for forgetting my past and blessing me with a future in you.

Amen

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Jeremiah 32:27
"Behold, I am the Lord, the God of all flesh. Is there anything too hard for Me?"
Nothing Too Hard
A rather sickly woman had been deserted by her husband. He left her with three preschool children, a mangy dog, a broken-down, second-floor flat and many bills. One morning she discovered that the mutt had chosen her only good pair of shoes as a chew stick. The youngest baby had cried the night through with colic. As she was preparing breakfast, the power went off because the bill hadn't been paid. Then the dog decided to play tug of war with the tablecloth, pulling all the dishes and food onto the floor. Just then she heard a commotion out in the street. Running to the kitchen, she opened the window and a man below yelled out, "Garbage man." Her only reply was, "Okay, send it up."
Times were like that for Jerusalem too. The Chaldeans had raised siege mounds around the city. Famine and pestilence stalked the streets. Jeremiah was on the verge of losing all hope for survival. His whole life seemed like a garbage heap?and each day only added a little more to the pile. But in the midst of this doom and gloom, God said to him, "Is there anything too hard for Me?" Even preserving the prophet's life in the midst of disaster was not an impossible task for God.
Life gets rough sometimes. Illness strikes, financial troubles threaten us, family problems dog our steps. At best, most people just hope they can scramble to the top as each new load of garbage gets dumped on them. But you don't have to live like that. God says, "Things can be better for you because I am with you--and nothing is too difficult for Me." Even your most troublesome circumstances simply become a stage on which God demonstrates that nothing is hopeless with Him.
If your situation is causing you to despair, listen to what the Lord has to say to you: "Is anything too hard for Me?" Take confidence in the fact that the omnipotent God is on your side.
When God says "nothing is too hard," He means "nothing"!